Dr. Stephanie Ellis Host

Dr. Stephanie Ellis

Appears in 30 Episodes

#28

Was It a Bad Night or a Real Sleep Disorder? Here’s How to Tell Difference

A little insomnia some nights is normal. So is oversleeping after a hard week. The real question is whether your daytime life is falling apart because of it. Most people are using words like insomnia and hypersomnia without knowing what they actually mean clinically, and the gap between the internet's definition and the real one might surprise you. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and bipolar disorder all tangle with sleep in ways that go both directions. Sometimes the mental health condition disrupts the sleep. Sometimes it's the other way around. Untangling which one came first matters more than people realize. And then there's sleep apnea, a confusing topic if there ever was one. What separates a snore from something that needs a doctor's attention? What does a CPAP machine actually do, and why do so many people avoid finding out if they need one? This closes out the sleep series. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and stay tuned for what's coming next. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#27

Night Owls, Snorers, and Sleep Divorce: Real Solutions to Common Sleep Problems

You might just be a night owl and not a lazy person. You might be waking up at 3am because of what you drank or ate, not because anything is wrong with you.  Knowing the difference changes everything. Sleep chronotype is real, it's neurological, and most people have been fighting theirs their whole lives without knowing it. Night owls get a bad reputation for something that's written into their nervous systems. Morning larks get praised for the same reason. Neither one chose it, and understanding which one you are, and how that shifts across your lifetime, is some of the most useful self-knowledge you can have. Caffeine, alcohol, and THC all interfere with sleep in ways most people don't fully understand. Caffeine doesn't make you less tired. It makes you unable to tell how tired you are. Alcohol helps you fall asleep and then reliably wakes you up in the early morning hours once your liver has finished metabolizing it. THC is its own complicated story, and it's not the unqualified good a lot of people want it to be. The episode also covers snoring, nightmares, shift work, the real story on sleep medications, and why the thing people call a sleep divorce might actually be one of the better decisions a couple can make for their relationship. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe for the final episode of the sleep series next week. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles.  Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#26

You LEARNED to Not Sleep: How You Can Repair Your Sleep for Good

The gold standard treatment for insomnia has nothing to do with supplements, sleep trackers, or white noise machines. It's cognitive behavioral therapy, and the basics of it are more accessible than most people realize. Sleep drive, circadian rhythm, stimulus control, sleep consolidation: these aren't buzzwords. They're the actual levers. And most people suffering through bad sleep have never been handed them. What you tell yourself at 2am feels more true than it is. Catastrophizing in the dark is a chemistry problem, not just a mindset one, and the adrenaline already in your bloodstream at that point doesn't care how many deep breaths you take. Knowing what's actually happening in your body changes what you do next. Sleep is more like a cat than a task. The harder you chase it, the faster it runs. Most people have that exactly backwards. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe as the sleep series continues. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#25

Sleep is EVERYTHING: The Secrets of Sleep Architecture and Sleep Hygiene

Poor sleep doesn't just make you tired. It quietly degrades your communication, your relationships, your physical health, your decision-making, and your emotional regulation. Most people don't notice until something breaks. Sleep is the place to start. Sleep is the thing that underlies everything else, and this episode builds the foundation for understanding why. Deep sleep handles the physical repair. REM handles the emotional and cognitive repair. Cut either one short and you'll feel it, even if you can't name what's wrong. There's a three-question self-assessment worth sitting with, a clear-eyed walk through sleep hygiene that skips the usual oversimplifications, and a frank conversation about the things that quietly sabotage sleep without people realizing it. How you use your bed. The math you do on your phone at midnight. What melatonin supplements are actually doing in your body and when they make sense. Oh, and those sleep trackers and Fitbits? They might be doing more harm than good. The research on this one is genuinely surprising, and worth a listen before you strap anything to your wrist tonight. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe as the sleep series continues. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#24

Take That to the Bank: How to Budget and Invest in Your Own Self-Care

Most people think of self-care as something you either do or skip. Let's reframe self-care as something you budget for today and invest in for later. Self-care has a return on investment, and it's worth doing the math. This episode builds out a framework for thinking about the energy you have, what you spend it on, and whether what you're getting back justifies the cost. That includes a real conversation about the effort-benefit ratio, why guilt quietly cancels out the credit from things you actually did for yourself, and what it means to give yourself permission to rest before every dish is done. The wealth metaphor earns its keep here. There's a difference between budgeting what you have today and making investments that pay off for the person you're going to be next year. Physical health and relationships sit at the center of the long-term picture, along with an honest look at when caring for others is genuinely nourishing versus when it's quietly depleting you. There's also something worth hearing about the word "have to" and what changes when you replace it with "choose to." Small shift, different life. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe to follow the series as it continues. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#23

60 Seconds to 60 Minutes: Real Self-Care Ideas You Actually Have Time For

Not enough time for self-care is usually not the real problem. In this episode, we break down specific ideas across 30 seconds, five minutes, 20 minutes, and 60 minutes so you can actually use what you have. Self-care doesn't have to be a ritual you build up to. A 20-second hug has oxytocin science behind it. A gratitude practice done consistently rivals antidepressants in research. Getting one real thing crossed off a list, the kind that actually stays crossed off, counts. These are not hacks. They're just what it looks like when you take your time seriously, even in small amounts. This episode gets into the creative side of self-care: how to stack physical, social, and spiritual elements into a single short window, why engagement matters more than duration, and what separates processing a hard emotion from just recycling it. There's also an honest conversation about when self-care stops being the right tool and professional support becomes the more useful one. The goal isn't to optimize your wellness routine. It's to build something that actually fits your life and leaves you with more than you started with. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe to follow the series as it continues. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#22

If You Were Your Own Best Friend: Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion, and Self-Care

Most self-care efforts fail for the same reason: we skip the inner work first. In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis continue the self-care series by going beneath the surface to two things that have to come before any practice can last: self-awareness and self-compassion. Topics include how to identify your own values and needs rather than borrowing someone else's version, understanding the difference between stressors in the world and stress in your body, and why the two do not always line up. The conversation also covers the difference between self-care and self-indulgence, how boundaries are about what you will do rather than what you expect from others, and how to give your time and energy as a gift rather than a loan. Dr. Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis also discuss self-compassion as a practical skill, including the work of Kristin Neff and Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, and how the language you use with yourself shapes whether self-care actually works long term. The episode closes with a conversation about JOMO, trusting the people who know you when your own self-awareness runs low, and what it means to invest in your future self. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe to follow the series as it continues. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#21

What Self-Care ACTUALLY Means (And What it Doesn't)

Self-care is everywhere, but most of what passes for it online is surface-level at best. Today, let's go deeper on what self-care actually is, why it has to be personal, and how to know if yours is working. In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis open a new series on self-care, wealth, and investing in yourself. They challenge the popular shorthand around self-care and offer a more useful, individualized framework for understanding what it really means. Topics include how to define self-care for yourself rather than borrowing someone else's version, the difference between quick-fix self-care and something lasting, and how to assess whether what you are doing is genuinely restorative. The conversation covers self-care across multiple areas of life including social connection, physical health, emotional wellbeing, intellectual growth, and spiritual practice. Dr. Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Ellis also discuss the practical test for whether something counts: does it leave you with more natural energy than when you started, and is it something you actually want to do? They explore the difference between enjoyment and restoration, the trap of doing things to yourself rather than for yourself, and why self-care that does not account for your future self tends not to last. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe to follow the series as it continues. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#20

Executive Functioning in Real Life: Lateness, Flexibility, and Focus

Feeling overwhelmed, scattered, or behind? In this executive functioning Q&A, we answer real questions about focus, flexibility, time, and follow through.  In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis respond to listener questions about executive functioning in everyday life. Topics include chronic overwhelm, difficulty talking on the phone, struggling with paperwork, being late, rigidity, helping children build executive skills, hiring for executive functioning strengths, and how executive functioning overlaps with ADHD.  The conversation explores practical strategies such as breaking the day into smaller chunks, prioritizing sleep, using short structured work blocks, adjusting expectations for time management, building accommodations for attention and working memory, and recognizing when struggles may be situational versus diagnostic.  Throughout the episode, the focus remains on responsibility without shame, self assessment with curiosity, and customizing systems that make life easier, cheaper, and better.  Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe for more conversations about executive functioning, work, and mental wellness. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#19

Stuck at Work? Tips on Retirement, Rehiring, Mentors, Promotion, and More

Worried about retirement, job loss, or getting stuck in your career? In this work-focused Q&A, we answer real questions about growth, purpose, and navigating change. In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis respond to listener questions about work and career transitions. Topics include preparing for retirement without losing purpose, coping with job loss, rebuilding confidence during the hiring process, finding mentors, improving workplace communication, handling psychologically unsafe environments, and figuring out why you may not be moving up. The conversation explores practical steps such as building structure during unemployment, treating job searching like a job, strengthening interview preparation through real practice, balancing power and responsibility at work, and clarifying whether skill gaps or personality dynamics may be affecting advancement. Throughout the episode, the focus remains on identity, structure, mental health, and taking responsibility for what you can control while accepting what you cannot. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe for more conversations about work, leadership, relationships, and mental wellness. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#18

Communication Answers: Giving Feedback, Setting Boundaries, and Using AI Wisely

How do you give difficult feedback without sounding harsh? What do you do when someone interrupts, shuts down, or refuses to change? In this listener Q&A episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis answer practical questions about communication in real life. Topics include delivering underperformance feedback at work, dealing with someone who refuses to change, balancing assertiveness with respect, handling interruptions, and ending conversations without feeling rude. The conversation also explores communication in virtual meetings, how therapy can help improve communication skills, mediating conflict between colleagues or children, and managing stress during difficult conversations. You will also hear a thoughtful discussion about when and how AI can be used responsibly in communication without replacing your own skill development. Throughout the episode, the focus remains on emotional regulation, preparation, boundaries, and building stress tolerance so you can stay composed when conversations get hard. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe for more conversations about communication, relationships, and mental wellness. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#17

Sex, Desire, and Intimacy Questions We Hear All the Time

You asked, and we answered. In this episode, we respond to real questions about sex, desire, intimacy, and communication. In this listener Q&A episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis respond to questions that often come up in therapy offices but are rarely talked about openly. Topics include sex after 60, changes in desire across the lifespan, communicating sexual needs, feeling too busy or disconnected for intimacy, and navigating shame, embarrassment, or mismatched desire in relationships. The conversation also explores practical and emotional questions around sexual health, including menopause, erectile changes, safety and testing, waiting for sex, buyer’s remorse, pornography, sex toys, and how early sexual experiences shape expectations later in life. Throughout the discussion, the focus remains on self awareness, values, consent, curiosity, and building intimacy that actually works for the people involved. This episode is grounded, direct, and compassionate, offering perspective rather than prescriptions and encouraging listeners to reflect on what they want, what matters to them, and how to talk about sex in ways that strengthen connection rather than create distance. Send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com and subscribe for more conversations about mental wellness, relationships, and meaningful connection. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#16

Executive Functioning Skills for Prioritizing, Planning, and Follow Through

Why do planning, time management, and productivity feel so hard even when you know what needs to be done? In this episode, we break down practical executive functioning skills that support follow through. In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis explore advanced executive functioning skills related to prioritizing, planning, organization, time management, and monitoring progress. The conversation focuses on why productivity often breaks down and how small, practical adjustments can make goals easier to reach. Topics include how to set priorities based on values, realistic planning strategies, common thinking traps like the planning fallacy and task completion bias, and ways to reduce wasted effort. The episode also covers tools for organizing materials, managing time and attention, handling procrastination, and knowing when emotions are interfering with efficiency. Throughout the discussion, the focus remains on responsibility without shame, customization over comparison, and building systems that work with your brain rather than against it. Subscribe for more conversations on mental wellness, executive functioning, and practical strategies for daily life. Questions can be sent to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#15

Why is Getting Started SO Hard?

Why is it so hard to get started, stay regulated, or slow yourself down in the moment? In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis focus on three executive functioning skills that shape everyday behavior: activation, emotional regulation, and behavioral self control. Together, they explore why starting tasks can feel so difficult, how emotions can take up more space than we expect, and what happens when reactions move faster than intention. The conversation looks at common patterns like procrastination, urgency driven motivation, overwhelm, impulsive responses, and difficulty pausing before acting. You will hear why both self criticism and self indulgence tend to make these struggles worse, and how responsibility without shame creates more room for change. Practical strategies include aligning tasks with values, borrowing structure from others, using visual focus to initiate work, creating space to edit responses, and building systems that support both present self and future self. This episode continues the Executive Functioning series and leads into the final discussion, where more advanced skills and integration will be covered. Subscribe to follow the full series and send your questions to richthoughtspoorjokes@gmail.com. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#14

Memory, Focus, and Why Multitasking Fails

Episode 2 of our four part series on executive functioning. Why is it so hard to remember things, stay focused, or follow through even when you care? In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis take a closer look at three core executive functioning skills: memory, focus, and mental effort. Together, they explore how working memory actually functions, why multitasking strains the brain, and what really affects our ability to stay alert and engaged. The conversation covers common frustrations like forgetfulness, distraction, and difficulty finishing tasks, and explains why shame and self criticism tend to make these problems worse. You will also hear practical ways to support your brain, including reducing cognitive overload, using timers intentionally, and customizing strategies based on how you actually function rather than how you think you should. This episode builds on the foundation from Part 1 and prepares listeners for the next discussion in the series, where additional executive functioning skills will be explored. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
#13

Why You’re Not Lazy: Executive Functioning Explained

What if the reason you struggle with focus, follow-through, or motivation isn’t laziness or lack of willpower? In this foundational episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis break down what executive functioning actually is: the mental skills that help you plan, focus, regulate emotions, and follow through in daily life. You’ll learn why shame, grit, and “just try harder” don’t work, how executive functioning is influenced by your brain and development, and what does help instead: responsibility without shame, customization, sleep, and realistic supports. This episode lays the groundwork for the entire series, where we’ll explore memory, focus, activation, emotional regulation, time management, procrastination, and more; with practical examples for work, parenting, relationships, and mental wellness. Welcome to Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes. A mostly-serious podcast where Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis coach you on the path to mental wealth by helping you find security, freedom, and luxury in every area of your life. Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes, is brought to you by Compass Coaching. At Compass Coaching, we specialize in executive coaching by collaborating with you on your goals, giving you reliable information, skills development practice opportunities, goal-oriented behavioral strategies, and help in tailoring these skills to your specific situation. We offer both topic-specific, empirically-based programs for businesses, organizations, and companies, all built on cognitive-behavioral and solution-focused principles. Learn more and connect with us at www.compasscoachingforlife.net
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